“Friendship is magic and magic is heresy!”


“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”


“ What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?”


"Weddings Are Basically Funerals With Cake."


“ When smart people get Happy, they stop recognizing themselfs”


“You are a piece of shit and I can prove it mathematically”