Hump Day Confessions

Hump Day Confessions: It's Not About Getting Through the Week, It's About Getting Off.

Happy Hump Day, you delicious things.

Wednesday. The peak of the week. The summit you have to climb before the sweet, sweet descent into the weekend. For most, it's a day of slumping shoulders, endless meetings, and the dawning horror that it's only Wednesday. The only "hump" they're acknowledging is the one in the middle of the week's long, boring road.

But you and I, we know better, don't we?

We know what "Hump Day" is really about. It's not a chore; it's a challenge. A dare. A delicious, throbbing reminder of what our bodies are truly made for. It’s the perfect excuse to inject a little bit of delicious depravity right into the heart of the mundane.

Forget conquering your inbox. Let's talk about conquering each other.

The vanilla world wants you to "get over the hump." I'm telling you to get on it. To ride it. To claim it. Why should the weekend have all the fun? Why relegate your pleasure to the footnotes of the week?

Let's make Wednesday our bitch.

Here's a little mid-week dare for you. Right now, I want you to think of one thing—just one—that would make you blush if your boss knew you were thinking it. Got it? Good.

Now, text your partner, your plaything, your late-night snack, and tell them. Don't be coy. Don't be shy. Use explicit, delicious, demanding words. Give them a preview of tonight's main event. Let them know in no uncertain terms that the plan for this evening isn't Netflix and chilling. It's sin and skin.

Let that dirty little promise hang in the air all day. Let it simmer while you're in that budget meeting. Let it pulse under your skin while you're staring at that spreadsheet. Build the tension until it's a tightly coiled spring, ready to snap the second you walk through the door tonight.

Transform the mid-week slump into a mid-week thrill. Make Wednesday the new Friday night.

After all, the best way to get over the hump... is to have a really, really good one.